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MNSL logo Bran Flakes
A cricketer had reached his 85th year and because his wife of sixty years insisted on a healthy diet and no beer after the match he was still able to enjoy his favourite form of physical recreation.
The couple's good health didn't help when their plane crashed on the way to Spain for a holiday and they arrived at the Pearly Gates instead of the Costa Brava.

St. Peter escorted them to a beautiful mansion furnished in gold and fine silks.  A maid could be seen hanging their clothes in a wardrobe. 

“Welcome to Heaven”, said St Peter.  With a straight bat the old man asked about how much this was going to cost?

“Why, nothing,” St Peter replied, “remember, this is your reward in Heaven.”

The old man looked out of the window and saw a Test Match against the Aussies in progress at Lords.  England were 526 for 2 in reply to the Aussies' 125 all out.

From the other window he saw a championship golf course – more beautiful than any on Earth.

“How much are the green fees?” he asked.

“This is Heaven, you play for free every day.

They went to lunch at the club house.  At the lavish buffet was every imaginable treat – seafood, steak, apple pie with custard and free-flowing drinks of every description.

“Don't ask,” said St Pete.  “It's all free.”

The old man looked nervously at his shrew-ish wife. 

“Where's the low fat, low cholesterol, tasteless food and the decaffeinated tea?”

“Ah, that's the best part. You can eat and drink as much as you like and never get fat or ill.  This is Heaven.”

The old man asked about the regular exercise programme his wife had been inflicting on him for years.

“Only if you want to.”

He inquired about blood pressure checks and diabetes screening.

“No need.  This is Heaven.  You can eat, drink and do what you like.”

The old man glared at his wife and said, “You and your D*** Bran Flakes, we could have been here ten years ago!!!

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